Can severe weather, leading to many local deaths over two weeks, cause an overwhelming sense of a crushed spirit in someone who was not directly affected?
Normally, I would say "probably not", but I am beginning to think otherwise. Since all the tornadoes and flooding in Oklahoma over the last couple weeks, I have been feeling exactly that way. My family and friends are all safe, but my heart hurts and depression seems to be flooding my emotions. Overall, the only way I can describe it is that my spirit feels like it is being crushed.
It is getting worse every day, every hour that passes. I have tried to figure out exactly what is the cause but to no avail. I should be feeling proud to be an Okie because we have the strongest resilience and sense of community to help others. I should be feeling blessed because my loved ones were spared from the storms. And I should be feeling honored that so many strangers have offered to assist in anyway they can.
I do feel those things, yet my own feelings inside of me are hurting. Not for others but seemingly for myself. It makes no sense, and I am beginning to get concerned. I am either crying or on the verge of tears every minute of every day. I can't sleep yet all I want to do is curl up in bed. I don't want to see anyone, yet I wish someone would help me, listen to me, and tell me that it's all going to be okay.
I have so much more to say about this, but alas I am crying again and cannot focus my thoughts. More later...
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