I know a ton of people that have been married for a long time. Some happy marriages, some tolerable, and some are just getting by. Like everyone else, my marriage is unique too. But it's unique in its own quirky way.
I first met Mike, my hubby, when I was 15 years old, over 20 years ago. He was a close friend to my high-school boyfriend and later husband, who I refuse to name but let's call him DA (for Dumb Ass). I was told by DA prior to meeting Mike that he was a "lady's man" and that "all women flock to him", so stay away. I wasn't worried...I was supposedly in love with my high school sweetheart. And no, I didn't flock to Mike when I first met him. I was moreso intrigued by his eyes. They were full of hope yet hurt and happiness yet pain. We became instant friends despite attempts from DA to keep up distant from each other.
Over the years, Mike and I became closer...as friends. He helped me with DA as he became violent and an uncontrollable danger to me and our son. I helped him through all his "female friends" and encounters with law enforcement. Yes, Mike was a wayward and rebellious teen/young adult who challenged anyone and everyone in his path. Some of his encounters were from his own stupidity and some were in an attempt to help save me. It's all a really long story but just trust me that Mike did go to jail in attempts to keep me safe from DA. Anyway, we never got romantically involved with each other at this point. Our friendship just grew stronger and stronger and our trust in each other became solid as a rock.
Over the many years later, Mike and I dated off and on. We were engaged and then not and then back again. We hurt each other, emotionally, from being young and stupid. We helped each other through deaths, births, marriages, divorce, cheating, prison, abuse, and drunkenness. Despite spending many years at a time apart, we always seemed to find our way back to each other. And we picked up like no time had passed. In fact, a few times I had not seen or heard from him in years and then got an achy physical pain in my heart that he needed help. With no idea what was going on or where/how to find him, I still found him within a day or two (this was before social media websites).
The last time we got together, we were both going through a separation/divorce from our spouses. We both needed a true friend to talk to, and we both needed someone who just knew...knew our own personal history, knew our own thoughts & fears, and just knew the things we don't readily admit. Hence, we found each other again. It was not an attempt to "hook-up" and/or cheat on our spouses...we just needed that security and comfort and sense of our own selves again. And apparently, no one on the planet can do it except us.
Yes we fight...good God do we fight! But its not physical and no one is in fear. Mike and I are both very very strong-willed and stubborn, yet our love and respect for each other overcomes everything. We laugh, we reminisce, we bicker, we hope, and we support each other no matter what. He infuriates me at times, but it's only because he knows me so well.
He is a true PITA, but he is also my ROCK! He is my strength and my stable ground. He knows me better than me, and he is patient as I realize things that he already knows about me. We know each others fears and insecurities before we even know them ourselves.
I love my husband. I love him more that words can say. I love him in ways and for reasons that I cannot even begin to express. He is my kindred spirit and my true soul mate. And yes, he is also my headache! ;)
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| Taken just after our wedding vows. Yes, we wore our comfy clothes and got married all alone on the side of a mountain overlooking Eureka Springs, Arkansas. Mike was solid and steadfast during the ceremony. I cried. |
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